Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in jcalavetta86's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
11:33 am	Tribute to Michael hey. Look it's me again. I feel kinda depressed. I feel so sorry for my brother. He is such a cool person, but he is always so pissed off at everything. I know he has never really been closed to anyone, but I know I can tell him anything. In fact, he is one of the only people that I will tell anything too. I wish I could spend more time with him. He and I have totally different schedules. he comes home when I go to work. It really sucks. We used to have an awesome relationship and I feel that it is disappearing becuase we never seem to schedule together. I really hate it. I wish I could do something about it but I cant. Everytime I want to do something, he usually always wants to be by himself and it makes me sad. I hate how the only person he truly cared about treats him like he is a pile of shit. I will never forgive that person ever. I hope she rots in hell for making my brother constantly feeling like shit. He is such an awesome person and everyone should know that. I can't believe how anyone can just ignore their "FRIENDS". We yse that word way too often. I believe that if people were truly friends, then they should have at least a time in one week to see each other and hang out. THis whole Im too busy routines gets way too fucking old. If they can't seem to find time for you, how can you consider them someone you can trust. Isn't that why you call them a friend? Isn't a friend someone you hang out with and can tell them anything? Someone who is there for you? Maybe I"m just a different person with my thinking mentality, but I don't believe friend should make others feel like shit. Anyways, I love Mike to death and I hate fighting with him. We had a really good relationship, and I hope that I can repair it. I really don't want to look less of a person in his eyes. it really hurts me dearly. Whatever I have done wrong in my life with him, I am sorry and I want to make things right again. I still really feel like shit. On a second note, this weekend was awesome. Rachel came over for the weekend and it was great. Before she came, Mike and I had so much fun messing around and buying popeyes. Then, I went to see a really old aquantence of mine. He is doing really good. Then I worked every night, and barely saw my brother. THat really sucked. FInally on sunday I got extrememly sick and HAve felt like crap ever since. Im getting hit with every single sickness in one swoop. I woke up monday morning with a fever which I started to tremble. Mike thought that I was waiting for him to leave so I could have sex or something, but I really was trembling because my body was breaking down. Too much work and not enough food can make any man hit the ground. When Rachel left on monday, I slept the whole day till 3. Then I went to work. Mike has kept the whole house really clean and Im very proud of him. I'm sorry that I haven't praised him recently on how good of a job he is doing. He works his ass off, goes to school, and still has time to see his two awesome friends on whom I give my highest respect too. They make me happy to see Mike happy, at least for a little while. I can't always be there for him, but I am happy to see that someone can be there that Mike really wants to hang out with. Current Mood: worried (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 7th, 2005
1:31 pm	sure wow. I wanted to write something today, but i am too tired. I miss rachel but I know she is happy and that makes me smile. So, my weekend was awesome. I loved it so much. I got to spend the whole time with the love of my life and enjoyed every second of it. Also, I got to watch the super bowl with my whole family(and lose two dollars off of it). Im tired and sick, so I think im going to bed. Maybe I'll write another happy day. Current Mood: mmmmmmmm! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
11:26 pm	Here we go Yeah, so I don't know why I am here, but I am. I haven't wrote for ages, so go easy on me. A child of 5 sits patiently on the curb of the cities streets. Not moving an inch, he only sits there. In his right hand, you see a sharp blade of reasoning shining only by a pool of a red substance that makes true life come alive. Looking down, you see pounds of bodily flesh slowly be scrapped off his body with no reason. A child of 5 sits patiently with wonderment. Slowly working and not asking questions, he slices and dices with pure concentration. As curious as you are, you stay put with no noise or sound. You try to turn around, but your feet became glued by the fear of dying. You try to run, but your legs turn stiff. The only thing you can do is stare cold heartedly into the poor child's face. As scared as you are, you noticed a marking on his right arm. A marking by the rusted blade of torture. A marking that makes your depression come back from your past. A past that you have hidden so deep in your heart, that you never wanted to open the chest again. Seeing this child and the marking made your memories attack your brain like a lion toward his prey. The past of humiliation and desperation that started to drive through your body. Feeling the urge of losing your mind, you squat down and picked up a piece of shiny glass that used to show a reflection of everything in front of it. With insanity running through you veins, you slowly walk toward the child and sit directly next to him. With two minds working as one, the mimicking of slicing and dicing continue. And life continues, while the two in full concentration continue to get rid of the dirtiness of the malesting that has happened to them in their past. Life goes on, except for the two who strangely stopped their life to become clean. Okay, so I got that out of my mind. So anyways, I am so happy to be with Rachel once and for all. She is the love of my life and I will do anything for her. She has made me so happy, that I don't know how to repay her. I am the luckiest man alive, because of what our past beholds and she still wanted to be with me. I made plenty of mistakes in my life, and breaking up with her was the one that topped the list. I am so sorry Beautiful. I cant wait to see you this weekend. Love ya Baby. Current Mood: AHHHHHHHHHHHH (1 Comment |Comment on this)